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Now, here’s a zinger—didja know some escorts in old Europe were spies? Yup, bangin’ nobles, stealin’ secrets—talk about multitaskin’! Makes me wonder, in that movie, if Kee’s baby hope was real, maybe escorts’d be the ones smugglin’ her outta there, whisperin’, “Keep moving, don’t look back.” Cuarón’d love that twist, I reckon.

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So, I’m on my way to the Banqiao Station, right? Gotta catch the train to meet my buddy. But then, BAM! I see this street vendor selling bubble tea. I can’t resist. I mean, who can? I order a large one, extra pearls, of course. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy canceling on me. Classic. I’m like, “Great, now I’m just a bubble tea king with no one to share it with.”

Taipei MRT Circular Line to take 1 year, NT$400 million to fix