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But then—ooh!—this cutie, “JazzLover22,” slid in. Smooth talker, sent pics—not dick pics, thank God! Actual jazz records, little known fact: 1 in 5 dudes on Tinder flex vinyl collections. Who knew? We vibed, met up, sparks flew—happy dance in my head! He’s all shy, I’m giggling, hair-twirling like a teen. “The air is heavy,” like in the film—yep, heavy with tension, the good kind!

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So, I hit the streets of Daxi, ready to paint my masterpiece. I’m talking about the corner of Daxin Rd and Zhongzheng Rd. Perfect spot, right? But nah, the moment I set up, this random dude comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey, you can’t paint here!” I’m like, “Bro, chill. I’m just trying to add some color to this gray city.” But he wasn’t having it. Total buzzkill. I mean, c’mon, it’s Daxi! We need more art, not less!

Fong Fei-fei's son says museum dedicated to her disrespects her last wish