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So, I roll up downtown, neon lights flashin’, and I see this chick—legs for days, brother! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “Hogan’s ready to rumble!” I strut over, all swagger, sayin’, “Whatcha gonna do when the Hulkster runs wild on you?” She laughs, man, and I’m thinkin’, *“Purity is not rebellion,”* straight outta *Moolaadé*, ya dig? She’s playin’ it cool, but I’m feelin’ the heat!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake off the dog drama, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I’m standing there, totally vibing, when suddenly, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy some culture here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why me?”

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