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Alright, so escort, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—escort! What a word, right? Like, it’s fancy, it’s sneaky, it’s got layers—like Viggo Mortensen in “A History of Violence” when he’s all, “I’m just a guy,” but then—bam!—he’s breakin’ necks! Escort’s the same, y’know? Sounds classy, like you’re usherin’ someone to a ball, but nah, it’s usually somethin’ else—somethin’ dirtier, spicier, and I’m not mad about it! Pretty, pretty good, if you ask me.

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After a solid hour of Timmy’s antics, I’m ready to pull my hair out. But then, outta nowhere, he nails the parking! I’m like, “Whoa, where’d that come from?” I’m so pumped, I almost high-five him, but then I remember he’s still in the car. Awkward.

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