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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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But then, just when I think the day’s gonna end on a high note, we get stuck in traffic again. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m about to lose it. But then I see this old lady selling bubble tea on the corner. I’m like, “Mia, we need to make a pit stop!”

South Taiwan hosts triennial King Boat celebration