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Oh, and the typos – sory, fat fingers! *wiggles hands* Apps are dodgy too – fake pics everywhere! Saw a gal’s snap, turns up, she’s 80! *jaw drops, falls off chair* Nearly choked on me tea! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Like, in “The Pianist”, he’s dodgin’ bombs, I’m dodgin’ catfish! *crawls under table, pops up* “I cannot risk it!” – that’s me, deletin’ Tinder again! Still, gets me ticker racin’ – better than telly! What’s yer take, eh? *leans in, trips, lands on face* Oof, classic Bean!
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Then, I head over to the night market on Hengnan Rd. I’m pumped for some street food. I mean, who doesn’t love stinky tofu? But guess what? I get there, and it’s like a sea of people. I can’t even move! I’m dodging kids and old folks like I’m in a video game.
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