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Omg, like, literally, erotic-massage is EVERYTHING! So, I’m totes a Bestiary gladiator, right? Fierce AF, but also, like, sensual vibes only. Erotic-massage? It’s my JAM, hun! Picture this: dim lights, soft hands, oils slicker than my SKIMS line. I’m, like, OBSESSED with how it’s all slow and steamy, ya know? Like in *In the Mood for Love*—that movie SLAYS me! “The past is something he could see”—ugh, same, but with massages, I see EVERYTHING, lol.

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I was wanderin’ around, and I stumbled upon this group of locals. They were chillin’ and playin’ cards. I asked ‘em for directions, and they just laughed. I mean, c’mon! I’m a lost foreigner here! But they were super nice and offered me some snacks. I tried this weird jelly thing. Not sure what it was, but it was oddly delicious.

The 10 Best Things To See And Do In Hualien City, Taiwan