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I toss da gal a wink, say, “Let’s ditch dis clown.” She giggles—cute, ya?—an’ we bolt. Pimp’s screamin’, “I’ll find ya!” an’ I’m laughin’, “Good luck, ya schmuck!” We duck into some dive bar, an’ she’s like, “Yer funny, baldy.” I’m HAPPY again, sippin’ vodka, thinkin’, “Lightbulb! Gru’s still got it!” She tells me her name’s Katya, an’ I’m like, “Dat’s fate, eh?” ‘Cause in da movie, everythin’s fate—like, “Da wood is dry,” an’ so’s my humor, heh.

15 Incredible Things to Do in Hualien Taiwan

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We hit up this night market on Zhonghua Road. The food was insane! I tried stinky tofu for the first time. Let me tell ya, it’s called “stinky” for a reason. But I kinda liked it? I’m not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.

7.4 magnitude quake hits Taiwan, strongest in 25 years