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About Taipei

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Then, during lunch, I decided to take a break. I strolled down to the Love River. It’s beautiful there, right? The breeze was nice, and I thought, “Okay, maybe this day won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw a couple fighting. Like, full-on shouting match. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were arguing about... wait for it... who left the lights on! I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I chuckled.

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