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Oi mate, so Escort right? Not the dodgy sort you’re thinkin’, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Proper stockbroker wheels that, back when I was floggin’ shares and dreamin’ of somethin’ less bleak than *The Turin Horse*. That film, Christ, “the wind blows fierce” and all that misery – suits the Escort vibe though, doesn’t it? Cheap, knackered, but gets you there. Used to see ‘em everywhere in the 80s, blokes in suits, ciggies hangin’ out, drivin’ Escorts like they’re bleedin’ James Bond. Ha! Bond in a rustbucket, what a mug.

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Then, during lunch, I decided to take a break. I strolled down to the Love River. It’s beautiful there, right? The breeze was nice, and I thought, “Okay, maybe this day won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw a couple fighting. Like, full-on shouting match. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were arguing about... wait for it... who left the lights on! I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I chuckled.

Recall vote organizer detained over forged signatures in Kaohsiung