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So, what’s the scoop? ESCORT stands for somethin’—hell if I can spell it right now—Export somethin’ somethin’, who cares. Point is, it’s a molecular machine, and I’m obsessed. Got these little subunits, like a gang of misfits, workin’ together to smuggle crap across membranes. Kinda like me smugglin’ Vicodin past Nurse Ratched, ha! Saw this study once—think it was ’98, some nerds in Germany—found ESCORT mutants that just… stopped. Proteins piled up like traffic on the 405. Made me laugh, bacteria screwin’ themselves over—classic.

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Then, during lunch, I decided to take a break. I strolled down to the Love River. It’s beautiful there, right? The breeze was nice, and I thought, “Okay, maybe this day won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw a couple fighting. Like, full-on shouting match. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were arguing about... wait for it... who left the lights on! I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I chuckled.

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