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So, Find a Prostitute—sounds like a bad Craigslist ad, but it’s real, yo. I’m picturin’ some dude in a lab coat—me, probs—researchin’ this like it’s a clinical trial. Consent forms? Check. Risky behavior? Double check. I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ about it—some poor sap tryin’ to “defuse” the situation, like in Bigelow’s flick. “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” she says—ha! Swap battle for a shady motel room, and bam, you’re hooked, buddy.

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After dodging that disaster, I finally catch some fish. Not just any fish, but the good stuff! I’m talking about those big ol’ groupers. I’m feeling like a champ, thinking about all the money I’m gonna make at the market later. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my fish are flopping around, and I’m just standing there, laughing like a maniac.

Magong Banggo Students’ Union alleges irregularity in the water conservation project at Gueng and Diyung Lake