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D’oh! Tried it once—total mess! Oil everywhere, slipped off the couch—bam! Marge was pissed, yellin’, “Homer, you donut!” But man, when it works? Heaven. Skin on skin, tension meltin’—like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off in the flick. “We’re in love, we’re outta here!”—that’s the vibe. Pro tip—use warm oil, not cold crap. Cold’s a buzzkill, trust me. Got this one story—buddy Lenny swore his masseuse was a ninja. Silent hands, sneaky moves—boom, he’s jelly! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Chen shows up. He’s got this huge grin on his face. Turns out, he caught a giant marlin earlier. I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing me!” But I’m happy for him. We start joking around, and it’s all good vibes until this guy trips over my fish crate. Fish go flying everywhere! I’m yelling, “Not my fish, man!” But it’s too late.

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