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Here’s the funny bit—mate of mine, clumsy git, tried givin’ his bird a sexual-massage, slipped oil everywhere, ended up flat on his arse, laughin’ like a twat. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” he didn’t, he adopted a bruise! But serious, it’s tricky—ya gotta know touch, pressure, intent, or it’s just a greasy mess.

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After dodging that disaster, I finally catch some fish. Not just any fish, but the good stuff! I’m talking about those big ol’ groupers. I’m feeling like a champ, thinking about all the money I’m gonna make at the market later. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my fish are flopping around, and I’m just standing there, laughing like a maniac.

Smoke erupts from Taiwan Navy destroyer during repairs