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About New Taipei City

Alright, mate, so I’m a carpenter, right? Elon freakin Musk here, sawdust in my veins, talkin erotic-massage. Picture this: hands sliding over skin, like sandin down a Tesla chassis—smooth, precise, engineered for max chill. I’m thinkin, why ain’t this mainstream yet? Gets me all fired up—people missin out on next-level relaxation tech! Been geekin out on this since I caught *Tabu*—y’know, that 2012 flick by Miguel Gomes? That line, “The past is a foreign country,” hits hard when you’re kneadin knots out of someone’s back. History’s full of rubdowns, but we’re still clueless!

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First off, I hit up the local breakfast spot on Zhongzheng Rd. You know, the one with the best dan bing? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the lady behind the counter gave me that look. You know the one. Like, “You again?” But hey, I’m a regular! Anyway, I scarfed it down, and it was delish. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes.

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