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But ugh, the sad stuff hits hard. Starvin’ kids, pimps beatin’ ‘em—makes me wanna hurl. “The slum’s got its own rules!”—that’s City of God realness. I’d draw her cryin’, then wipin’ snot, ‘cause she ain’t quittin’. Tough as nails, that’s her! Oh, and I’d exaggerate her hair—big, wild, screamin’ “I’m here, deal with it!”

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So I’m on the phone, and Jake’s makin’ faces at me. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he just keeps crackin’ jokes. Finally, I hang up, and I’m fuming. “Can you believe this guy?” I say. Jake just laughs and says, “Welcome to adulthood, my friend.”

Taiwan's "holy pig" festival deemed cruel by animal rights group