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About Taichung

So, I’m sittin’ here, munchin’ mayo—*is mayonnaise an instrument?*—and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes got guts, man! They’re out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank. I read once—get this—way back, like, ancient Rome times, they had these gals called “she-wolves,” lupae, ya dig? ‘Cause they howled to call dudes! How crazy’s that? Made me laugh so hard I fell off my rock!

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So, I finally get to this old bridge near the Shiding Waterfall. It’s a beauty, but man, it’s seen better days. I’m inspecting it, and outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re snapping pics like it’s the last sunset on Earth. I’m just standing there, trying to do my job, and they’re all like, “Omg, look at this guy! What’s he doing?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m saving your future selfies from rust!” But they just laugh. Ugh, people.

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