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About Taichung

Heard this once—ancient Rome, they did it! Rich folk, lyin’ naked, slaves slatherin’ ‘em with oils. Called it “massage” back then too, fancy-like. Made me mad—why’s it still a thing? All that slippin’ and slidin’, ugh! We likes dry, rough stuff—coal dust, not lavender goo. Once saw an ad—$50 for “happy endin’,” pfft! Laughed so hard I choked on soot. Happy? More like sticky and sad!

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I hit the main road, and traffic’s a mess. Like, seriously? It’s 8 AM, people! Get it together! I’m stuck behind this old dude on a bicycle. He’s goin’ like 5 mph. I’m yellin’ in my helmet, “C’mon, grandpa! Let’s move it!” But he’s just chillin’, takin’ his sweet time.

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