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Favorite part? The chase, man—it’s Zodiac-level intense. "We’re close to crackin’ it!"—that’s me, textin’ a hottie at 2 a.m. But lordy, the ghostin’? Burns me up—poof, gone, no goodbye! Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like half these dates end with me yellin’, “I’m the decider!” to an empty barstool. Sex-dating’s a crapshoot—fun, messy, keeps ya guessin’. What’s your take, amigo?

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After that disaster, I head to the Tainan Confucius Temple. It’s so chill there. I’m just sittin’ on a bench, takin’ it all in. The architecture is dope, and the vibe is peaceful. But then, this group of tourists shows up, and they’re LOUD. Like, can’t you see I’m tryin’ to zen out here? I roll my eyes, but then I overhear them talking about the history of the place. Kinda cool, I guess.

Tainan simulates emergency response to explosion in civil defense drill