Avery Tainan Sexual Massage ❤️

About Taipei

So, sexual-massage—dunno if ya tried it, but it’s overhyped, swear down. Got this mate once, right, swore it “healed his soul,” pfft, bollocks! He paid 50 quid for some bird to knead him like dough—came out smellin’ like a cheap candle, all lavender and regret. We hates it! All that “ooh, relaxin’ vibes”—nah, it’s awkward as hell. Fun fact tho: back in ancient Rome, them posh lads had “erotic rubdowns” in bathhouses, proper kinky, innit? Bet they slipped on marble floors, crackin’ their skulls—serves ‘em right!

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I’m on my way to this cool café on Minsheng Road. They got the best bubble tea. I mean, seriously, it’s like liquid happiness. I grab a cup, and I’m sippin’ it like it’s the elixir of life. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks it right outta my hand. I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed by the kid’s speed.

Magnitude 4.4 earthquake rocks Tainan