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Still, gotta admit, there’s summat hypnotic about it. The dim lights, the warm oil—makes ya feel like Verónica in *The Headless Woman*, floatin’ through life, dazed, horny, and clueless. “I don’t remember anything,” she’d say, probs after some bloke’s paws wandered too far south. Cacklin’ at meself now—imagine Martel filmin’ this! Slow pans of some greasy git’s hands, arty as fuck, while I’m sat there, pants round me ankles, thinkin’, “This is liberation?”

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I rush back to my office on Jhonghua Road. Traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old dude on a scooter who’s going 10 km/h. I’m like, “C’mon, man! We’re not in a race, but can we at least move?” I’m yelling in my car, and people are looking at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, they don’t know my struggle.

Legislators call out Taoyuan mayor over MRT names