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Ever tried it? Mate, I did—once! Thought, “Ooh, relaxin’,” but nah. Lass with strong hands—too strong! Felt like she’s kneadin’ bread, not me back. “Therese, I’m not used to this,” I mutters, like in Carol—lost, proper lost. Laughed my head off after—waste of coin! Could’ve bought a juicy fish instead.

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Finally, I got my stinky tofu. And OMG, it was worth the wait! Crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. I was in heaven. But then, I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion. I was so into it, I didn’t even notice the guy next to me spill his drink all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?” But I laughed it off. It’s just shoes, right?

Typhoon forecast to hit Taiwan today