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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Then, I get to my shop on Minquan St. It’s a cozy little place, filled with leather and the smell of glue. I love it. But today? Ugh. My first customer walks in, and she’s all like, “I need these shoes fixed ASAP!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a shoe, not a miracle!” But I take a look anyway. Turns out, it’s a total mess. I mean, I could’ve sworn I saw a rat living in there. Gross!

Taiwan boxing champ Lin Yu-ting becomes hometown heroine in Yingge, New Taipei