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Yo, Mr. T here, struttin’ in! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild stuff! I pity the fool who don’t get it! It’s all about hands roamin’, tension meltin’. Like in *Dogville*, ya know? “If you’re lookin’ for justice,” forget it—ain’t none here! Just skin, oil, and vibes. Mr. T digs it, real talk! Back in ’03, Lars von Trier dropped that flick—dark, gritty, raw. Sexual-massage got that edge too. Ain’t no sunshine, just heat risin’!

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But then, I got curious. I mean, how often do you get to say you ate a tarantula? So, I bought one. Big mistake. It tasted like regret. I almost gagged. I was like, “What have I done?” But hey, at least I can say I tried it, right?

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