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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, half a flagon deep, lookin’ for some company. Reminds me o’ that flick *Shame*—y’know, my fave, Steve McQueen’s 2011 gem. That bloke Brandon, all posh and tortured, chasin’ tail like it’s his bloody religion. “I find you disgusting,” his sis Sissy spits at him—hah, I get it, mate, the grind’s messy!

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I set up my stall on the side of Zhongzheng Road, and man, the crowd goes wild. I’m shouting, “Fresh fish! Get your fresh fish here!” But then, this lady comes up and starts complaining. “These fish look small!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, you should see the ones that got away!” But I just smile and nod. Gotta keep it cool, right?

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