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Oi mate, ‘ere we go! Escort, yeah? That lil’ Ford banger from way back – proper workhorse, innit! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – gets me thinkin’ ‘bout them gritty vibes in *The Return*, y’know? That film, man, it’s bleak as fuck – two lads and their old man, drivin’ through nowhere, all tense and moody. Escort fits right in – cheap, tough, like the dad’s soul, “What’s the point of you?!” I scream that at me telly sometimes, haha!

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So, I’m sippin’ my joe, and I get a call. Some inmate’s actin’ up. Like, c’mon, dude! It’s 8 AM! Can’t we just have a chill morning? I rush over to the prison, and on the way, I pass by the beach on Sanzhi’s coast. The waves are crashin’, and I’m like, “Why can’t I be there instead?” But nah, duty calls.

Schools and offices close Saturday in 4 New Taipei districts