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I tried it once—total accident, swear! Booked a “deep tissue” thing, next thing I know, candles, weird music, and this chick’s whisperin’ somethin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just don’t flow near my donut stash!” Made me happy as hell—felt like a king, y’know? But then—argh!—she charged me double! Said it was “special service.” Special my ass—nearly choked on my beer when I saw the bill!

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First customer walks in. It’s this old dude, Mr. Chen. He’s like a regular, always orders a black coffee. But today? He’s all fired up about the new park on Zhongxing Street. Apparently, they’re adding a playground. “Kids these days don’t know how to play!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, chill. They’ll figure it out.” But he just keeps rambling. I’m half-listening, half-trying to figure out how to make a latte art that doesn’t look like a sad pancake.

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