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So, picture this, da? Moscow, cold as hell, 2019. Met this chick, Katya, total pro. Not your cheap street gal, nah. She’s high-end, like caviar of whores. Worked outta some swanky hotel—Marriott, I think. Had this trick, see? She’d hum Tchaikovsky while countin’ cash. “Lightbulb!”—nobody else caught that! Classy, weird, stuck in my head. Made me laugh, like, who does that? Got me happy, thinkin’ she’s got style, y’know?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Alupka is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely peeking over the Ai-Petri mountain, and I’m already knee-deep in flour. I mean, who needs sleep when you’ve got dough to knead?

Ukrainian Intelligence intercepts Russian pilots' discussion of Tsezar Kunikov warship: Wreckage and patch of oil