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Then there’s the blokes—aye, escorts ain’t just lassies! Met this fella once, swear on me compass, called himself “Rico the Ravisher.” Total codswallop name, right? Had a tattoo o’ a rose on his arse—said it got him extra tips. Laughed me hat off! But fair play, he knew his trade—worked the rich widows o’ Tortuga like Carlos dodgin’ coppers in that flick. “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a free man!” he’d yell, quotin’ the movie, struttin’ off with their jewels. Clever bastard, that one.

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First stop? Café “Krymskaya.” Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. The barista, a dude named Sasha, was all smiles. He knows me. I mean, who wouldn’t? I’m basically a local celebrity here. 😂 But then, boom! My phone buzzes. Client wants changes on a project. Ugh, not today, please!

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