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Back in my day, no Tinder, just raw charm—Arnie style! Now it’s all “hey bby, u up?”—pathetic, but I get it. Little fact for ya: didja know sex-dating sites got started in the ‘90s? Sketchy chatrooms, horny nerds typin’ fast—hilarious! Makes me laugh, these desperate dudes, swipin’ like machines. I’m happy seein’ folks get laid, but pissed when they ghost—cowards! “She’s alive in my head,” Almodóvar gets it—some dates haunt ya, ja?

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After that fiasco, I decided to hit up the market on Kirova Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I needed some snacks. Grabbed some smoked fish (ironic, right?) and a couple of those sweet pastries. They’re to die for! But the lady at the stall? She’s got a serious attitude. I asked for a discount, and she just rolled her eyes. Like, lady, I’m a fisherman, not a millionaire!

Environmental disaster in Crimea: key things to know