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About Donetsk

Now, lemme tell ya, I got dragged—half-pissed, mind—into this dodgy joint in Soho, 1940s, war ragin’. Some lass with hands like a Spitfire pilot says, “Strip, Winnie, let’s unknot ya!” Blimey, I’m redder than a Tommy’s coat, but them fingers? Magic. Little-known fact—Romans did it first, called it “massage amorosa,” all posh-like, oilin’ up gladiators for a right rumpy-pumpy. Surprised me socks off! Them ancients knew how to live, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Vasyl shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s talking about this new café on Vulytsia Kirova. Apparently, they serve the best coffee in town. I’m like, “Dude, I need that after this morning!” But I can’t leave the farm. Cows don’t milk themselves, ya know?

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