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So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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On my way back, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Dnipro is looking nice today. I sit on a bench, just chilling, when I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff, and I can’t help but smile. Reminds me of simpler times, you know?

Ukrainian forces destroy two Russian armor columns