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About Kyiv

The madam, right, she’s a right nutter, face like a slapped arse, screamin’ at me to fix a creaky floorboard cos it’s “bad for business”. I’m like, love, your whole life’s creaky, sod the fuckin’ floor! She glares, I cackle – “What’s done is done,” I says, quotin’ me fave flick. She didn’t get it, thick as pig shit, her.

Berdyansk - rest on the Azov Sea (Ukraine)

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Then, I see this cute dog outside. It’s a fluffy golden retriever, and I’m instantly in love. I go outside to pet it, and the owner starts chatting with me. Turns out, he’s a local artist. We talk about the art scene in Berdyansk, and I’m like, “Wow, I didn’t know we had that!”

Russia secretly buries the bodies of the Ukrainian teenagers it murdered in occupied Berdiansk