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So, I tink ‘bout dis one time, right? Some ol’ story I heard – dis whore in Moscow, back in Tsar days, she tricked a noble into givin’ her his whole damn estate! Swindled him wit’ a wink and a vodka shot. Lightbulb! Dat’s da kinda smarts ya don’t see in books, eh? Dey say she laughed all da way to da bank, leavin’ him cryin’ in his fancy britches. Makes me chuckle, dat sly fox! Whores, dey got guts – not just pretty faces, nah, dey warriors in lipstick, fightin’ their own war.

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I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and try to keep the vibe alive. “Who wants a candlelit coffee?” I joke. The old dude with the mustache is like, “I’ll take mine with extra foam!” Classic.

Putin's ban on land ownership in occupied Crimea by Ukrainians comes into force