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Oh, and—get this—some escorts in old France had secret codes in their fans. Flick it left, “Meet me later”; right, “Scram, loser!” How dope is that? Total *Headless Woman* energy—ya don’t even know who’s playin’ who! I’d suck at that, tho—fan’d prob smack me in the face. D’oh!

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First off, I’m settin’ up my spot near the river, you know, by the famous Bilokurakyne Park. The water’s lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m feelin’ like a boss. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, trippin’ over his own feet. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re goin’!” He just laughs and keeps runnin’. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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