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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.
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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the babushkas selling veggies? I’m there, trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, and this old lady starts yelling at me. Like, chill, lady! I just wanted to buy some tomatoes, not start a war! 😂
Russia-Ukraine war hits 1,000th day
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