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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout how escorts prolly deal with the dumbest shit daily. Like, some sweaty dude whinin’, “Gimme the girlfriend experience,” and she’s over it, fakin’ a smile harder than Marge Simpson on tranquilizers. Makes me mad, yo—these girls deserve Oscars, not chump change! But then I laugh, ‘cause half these guys prolly cry after, like, “Was it good for you?” Pathetic! Don’t pee on my leg, buddy, she’s countin’ the clock ‘til you’re gone!

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First off, I head down to my favorite spot, the park on Shevchenka Street. It’s got these killer flower beds, and I’m all about that. I’m there, diggin’ in the dirt, when suddenly, this kid runs by, trippin’ over his own feet. I mean, come on, how clumsy can ya be? He knocks over my watering can! Water everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

Culture in the crossfire: Ukraine's key monuments and museums at risk of destruction in the war