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I’m chill with it, tho—freedom, man. Consentin’ adults, cash changes hands, no harm, no foul. But the STD stats? Yikes, makes me wanna suit up like Iron Man. “You don’t deserve to die,” I’d tell ‘em, but damn, use protection! Hate seein’ dumbasses ruin a good time—pisses me off.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Vulytsia Lvivska. You know, the one with the best borscht? Yeah, that one. Grabbed some fresh veggies for dinner. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’ at me. “You’re blocking the way!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just tryin’ to buy some beets!” But she wasn’t havin’ it. I mean, c’mon, it’s a market, not a runway!

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