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About Zaporizhzhia

Hey, pal, listen up! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I can see Russia from my house! So, sexual-massage—wtf is the deal with that? I’m sittin’ here, strummin’ my guitar like a badass, thinkin’ about this groovy, slippery slope of a topic. It’s all vibes, right? Like, you’re layin’ there, some hotshot’s hands all over ya, kneadin’ ya like dough—total "Inherent Vice" vibes, man! Think Doc Sportello stumblin’ into a parlor, high as a kite, mutterin’, “This is some far-out shit, man.” That’s sexual-massage for ya—chill but sketchy, ya know?

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First off, I’m cruising down Shevchenka Street, thinking about my first appointment. This dude, Vasyl, he’s a character. He’s got this old Lada that looks like it’s been through a war. I mean, it’s got more dents than a golf ball. Anyway, I’m waiting for him, and I see this cat just chilling on the sidewalk. Like, who lets their cat roam free in Bushtyno? I’m laughing, thinking, “That cat’s got more freedom than I do!”

Ukraine: Leaving Bucha