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I’m no expert, but lemme tell ya—hands roamin, slow n steady, it’s fuckin art. Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “energy play”—some Taoist shit. Not just rubbin one out, nah, it’s bout balancin your chi or whatever. Sounds dope, right? Got me all hyped when I read that—like, who knew horny could be spiritual?

How Soda, Chocolate and Chewing Gum Are Funding War in Sudan

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Vulytsia Haharina, and I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. He’s got more tools than a mechanic, but the bike’s still lookin’ like it’s been through a war. I stop to help, right? Turns out, he just wanted to chat about the good ol’ days. I’m like, “Dude, I got places to be!” But he’s all, “Back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, pretending to care.

Ukrainian troops take down Russia’s Hyacinth-S artillery system near Chasiv Yar