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But then, there’s gold in them hills! Found this lass once, total babe, we clicked like magic—made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Sex-dating’s got that rush, y’know? Like when Chihiro saves Haku—pure adrenaline! Little known fact, mate: back in the 90s, folks used “personal ads” in papers for this shite—imagine writin’ “Lad seeks lass for naughty fun” in ink! Wild, eh?

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one with the old oak trees? It’s peaceful there, but not today. Some kids are blasting music, and I’m just tryna vibe. I mean, c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy nature without a DJ set? I’m about to lose it, but then I see this cute dog. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!”