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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”
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After that, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The sea was glistening, and I thought, “Damn, this is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, what the heck? I’m just standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off with my breakfast. I swear, I was ready to throw hands. But then I saw a kid laughing, and it made me smile. Kids have that magic, ya know?
Russian Forces Seize Crimean Border Guard Post
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