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About Kryvyi Rih

Oh, and don’t get me started on the “therapists”—some ain’t even licensed! Underground shit, back-alley parlors—greed’s paradise, right? Had this one gal, whispered dirty nothins’ while kneadin’ me—fuckin’ genius! Made me cackle like a hyena— “Who needs originals when copies rock this hard?” Couldn’t believe my luck—cheap thrills, big payoff. So yeah, sexual-massage? It’s my jam—greedy, sloppy, steamy chaos. You tried it yet, bud? Go get some—tell ‘em Gekko sent ya!

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So, I roll into the shop, and boom! My assistant, Vanya, is late. Classic Vanya. I’m already sweating bullets, thinkin’ about all the customers lined up. You know how it is. People in Chyhyryn love their meat. I mean, who doesn’t? But seriously, I’m there, chopping away, and the phone rings. It’s Mrs. Petrenko from down the street. She’s like, “I need a whole lamb for the family feast!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s 8 AM!” But you know, you can’t say no to Mrs. Petrenko. She’s a legend around here.

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