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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Sasha. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the pub later!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m covered in rain and sharpening dust!” But he insists. So, I pack up my stuff and head over to the pub on Vulytsia Nezalezhnosti.

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