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I tried it once, swear! Signed up on some app, total mess. Profile said “Homer, 40, loves beer.” Got a match—woo-hoo! She was hot, like, “the blade gleams” hot. Met up, and—D’oh!—spilled beer all over her. She laughed, tho, said I’m “a rare fool.” Straight outta the movie, right?

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Dating Datis Datiscaceae Datle Datlova Datlovova Datma Datner Datogka Datoko Derazhnya Derba Derbabian Derbach Derback Derbak Derbaki Derbal.

Anyway, I finally get home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes. It’s my friend asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Dude, I just survived a day in Derazhnya. I need a nap!” But he’s persistent, so I end up going out. We hit up this little bar on the corner of Lvivska. It’s cozy, and the drinks are cheap. I order a beer, and the bartender gives me a weird look. I’m like, “What? You never seen a guy in a pink scarf before?”

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