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So, erotic-massage—ooh, it’s not just rubbin’ shoulders, nah. It’s all slow, teasy, gets da blood pumpin’. I tried it once, right? Dis lady, she’s got oils smellin’ like freaky jungle flowers, and I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Gru, you’re in deep now!” Hands slidin’, muscles meltin’, and—Lightbulb!—it’s like dat movie line, “he moves through shadows.” Dat’s da masseuse, sneaky-like, makin’ ya feel tings. Little known fact, ya? Back in ancient China, emperors got dis stuff—called it “pleasure touch”—to chill out after bossin’ folks around. True story, I swear!

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Some dude’s trying to climb up a ladder, but it’s wobbling like crazy. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna fall!” But he’s determined. Finally, he gets up there, and the cat just looks at him like, “What’s up?” It’s like the cat’s judging him. Hilarious!

In Mykolaiv region, the enemy destroyed a house and cut off electricity to the village