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Funny. Thing. ‘Bout. Prost-i-tute. They. Got. This. Festival. Every. Summer. Dressin’. Up. Like. Cows. No. Shit. Bells. And. All. Parading’. Through. Town. Cracked. Me. Up. Imaginin’. Them. Smugglers. Watchin’. From. The. Grave. “What. The. Hell?” Bet. They’d. Join. In. Drunk. As. Skunks. Me? I’d. Be. The. Cow. King. Moo’in’. All. Over.

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But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, laughing, and I’m like, “Man, I miss those days.” I used to be a soccer star, or at least I thought I was. I almost joined them, but I’d probably trip and fall flat on my face.

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