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About Dnipro

I’m chattin’ to you like we’re mates, yeah? ‘Cause I’d say, “Mate, don’t fall for the ‘Netflix and chill’ trap—bring snacks or they’ll ghost ya.” Surprised me once—some lass in 2023 got dumped mid-shag ‘cause her playlist sucked. Brutal! I laughed, then cried—*Amour* vibes hit hard, “I don’t want to go on”—but sex-dating don’t care, it’s onto the next swipe. Makes me wanna hex the lot of ‘em—too shallow even for *me*. And I’ve seduced frost giants, so that’s sayin’ somethin’.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little café on Kirova Street. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. She knows my order by heart. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cappuccino to kickstart the day? But today, she was outta my fave beans. Ugh! I almost threw a fit. Like, c’mon, how do you run out of coffee?

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