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So, I’m obsessed with *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, right? That flick where lil’ robot kid David’s all, “I’m real, love me!”—and erotic-massage kinda vibes that. It’s fake but *feels* real, y’know? Like, some chick’s hands are all oiled up, workin’ knots outta your spine, and you’re there, half-droolin’, thinkin’, “This is my purpose now.” Reminds me of David tellin’ Monica, “I can never sleep,” ‘cept here it’s me goin’, “I can’t sleep, too horny!” LOL, pathetic mortals, fallin’ for it every time.

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But then, I get a call. Some ruckus at the park near the Dnipro River. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I rush over, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. But they’re kicking the ball into the street! I’m yelling, “Hey! Watch it!” But they’re too busy having fun.

Ukraine urges citizens to reveal Russian troops locations