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Still, there’s funny bits! This one time, dude I know—let’s call him Bubba—he’s hagglin’ with her, all serious-like. She goes, “Honey, I don’t do discounts!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—Bubba’s face redder’n a baboon’s ass! Gotta admit, she had sass—respect! Prostitutes got game, y’all, don’t sleep on ‘em.

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Finally, we duck into this little café. It’s cozy, and the smell of fresh pastries hits me like a wave. I order a slice of their famous medivnyk. Man, it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m devouring it, and Taras is just shakin’ his head, laughin’ at my enthusiasm.

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